Let's change how stories are shared with one's relatives in our new digital world!
Let's start with our story, the story of the Sams' family. It illustrates why it is sometimes so difficult to talk about simple things.
"- Ask me one personal question about something you always wanted to know, but never dared ask", said Granny to her both grandchildren who were standing across the kitchen table, their hands carrying empty dishes.
"- Eh, what type of question do you mean?" asked Sama, her eyebrows arched out of surprise.
"- One that really matters and you never thought you could ask", she answered. She inhaled shortly. "Don't be shy, it's me! And you're old enough to understand why I ask this question. Isn't there anything that you want to ask and never found an occasion to?"
Sam seemed hesitant. Then he asked softly:
"- Ok, then tell me. You never told me why you and Grandpa left your home town and changed completely your lifestyle and that of Mom's when she was 8. You had good jobs, your home, your family and friends, why? Mom mentions it often, but she has only theories. I think she's a bit afraid to ask, after such a long time."
Sama was surprised, Granny's eyes widened.
"- Sure. It's a bit personal, but perhaps you'll be interested to know these details of our lives."
Both Sams leaned forward, about to receive meaningful confidences, for them.
Beyond our fascination for our grandmother's story, we got interested more broadly about sharing personal stories overall. Because the fact is:
We brainstormed this list with Sam:
Fear of Judgment: They might worry that their stories will be judged negatively, or that they’ll be criticized for past decisions, mistakes, or behaviors.
Emotional Sensitivity: Some past experiences may be too emotionally painful to revisit, such as traumas, losses, or regrets. People may avoid bringing these up to protect themselves or others from emotional distress.
Privacy Concerns: Certain events in one's life may feel too personal or private, and they may fear that sharing them could compromise their sense of autonomy or expose vulnerabilities.
Fear of Burdening Others: People might feel that sharing their stories could burden their relatives emotionally or distract them from their current lives, especially if the stories involve pain or hardship.
Generational Gaps: Older generations might feel that their experiences will not be understood or appreciated by younger family members due to differences in values, life experiences, or worldviews.
Shame or Guilt: Past actions or events that involve moral or ethical dilemmas may cause a person to feel shame or guilt, making them hesitant to share openly.
Cultural Norms: In some cultures, speaking about personal feelings or experiences, especially negative ones, may be discouraged or seen as inappropriate, particularly within family dynamics.
Fear of Altering Relationships: People may worry that revealing certain aspects of their past could change how their relatives perceive or interact with them, potentially damaging the relationship.
Memory Gaps or Inaccuracy: Some may feel that they don’t remember their past well enough, or fear that their recollection may be inaccurate, leading to hesitation in recounting their stories.
Reluctance to Relive the Past: Some individuals simply don’t want to relive certain aspects of their past, especially if they’ve worked hard to move on or create a new chapter in their lives.
Emotional Relief and Healing: Sharing one's past can be cathartic, providing emotional release from bottled-up feelings, and helping with the process of healing from past traumas.
Validation and Acceptance: Expressing personal stories can bring a sense of validation when others listen and acknowledge the significance of one's experiences. It helps to feel heard and understood.
Self-Reflection and Growth: Talking about past experiences allows for deeper self-reflection, which can lead to personal growth, new insights, and a better understanding of one’s journey.
Legacy Building: Sharing stories with loved ones helps preserve personal and family history, allowing the storyteller to pass on lessons, values, and memories, creating a lasting legacy.
Forging Stronger Bonds: Sharing life experiences can deepen emotional connections with others, fostering empathy and mutual understanding within families or among friends.
Reframing the Past: Talking through past events can help the storyteller reframe difficult experiences, seeing them from a new perspective and potentially creating a sense of closure.
Boosting Confidence and Empowerment: Sharing stories can help individuals feel more confident in their identity, validating their life experiences, and empowering them to take ownership of their narrative.
Gaining Wisdom and Life Lessons: Listening to someone’s personal stories, especially those of elders, can provide valuable life lessons, offering new perspectives and insights that might not be learned otherwise.
Strengthening Relationships: Hearing stories can foster empathy, compassion, and understanding, leading to deeper connections and a stronger emotional bond between family members or friends.
Preserving History and Culture: Personal stories help keep family history alive and contribute to preserving cultural heritage, enabling listeners to connect with their roots and identity.
Building Empathy and Compassion: Listening to someone else's life experiences helps build empathy, encouraging a greater appreciation for the complexity and challenges others face.
Inspiration and Motivation: Stories of perseverance, success, or overcoming challenges can serve as inspiration and motivation, providing hope and encouragement in difficult times.
Creating Meaning and Understanding: Listening to the personal stories of others can help make sense of complex family dynamics, personal histories, or difficult life events, creating a clearer picture of shared experiences.
Strengthening Mental Health: For both the storyteller and the listener, the exchange of stories can be a form of therapy, reducing feelings of isolation, anxiety, or loneliness.
we want to build a strong network of all people who share personal stories with close ones and the people who help them. We will coin a concept and give visibility to this simple idea and generate many vocations.
Anyone busy with LISTEN, SAVE and TRANSMIT PERSONAL STORIES should join!
So, if you have anecdotes to share (even anonymized ones), are a profesisonal of amateur practitioner, make sure to contact us and to subscribe to our newsletter!
Thanks in advance for joining the project and let's make sharing stories the next big thing!
Sama